Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Free Relationship Advice: 4 Simple Steps to Stop Doing Most Anything

By Margrit Harris


Many couples get into relationship trouble when they ignore the needs and wants of their spouse. Giving attention to the little things in your relationship is tantamount to having a happy, successful marriage.

Below, relationship expert Margrit Harris shares some simple but powerful steps to take to reduce the number of behaviors that negatively impact your marriage.

Ms. Harris writes...

Can you imagine what your relationship would be like if you could stop…

• Being so sensitive

• Getting mad so quickly

• Feeling left out

• Telling little white lies

• Flirting to get attention

• Giving him the silent treatment

• Ignoring her opinion

• Getting your feelings hurt

Are you plagued by any of these or other similar annoying behavior?

You’re about to give your loved one a great gift! Yup, you’re going to stop doing what drives you and your partner crazy.

How?

By following these

4 Simple Steps to STOP Doing Most Anything

Step 1 - New Behavior

First of all you need to decide what you want to replace your unwanted behavior with. If you only think about what you don’t want to do, your behavior cannot change. You must carefully consider what you want to do.

Step 2 - STOP Sign

The next time you find yourself starting into your unwanted behavior do this. Imagine a huge STOP sign popping up in front of you. Literally stop whatever you are doing and replace it with the New Behavior.

Step 3 - Rehearse

In the privacy of your home mentally rehearse or physically act out your New Behavior (what you’re going to do and say) in multiple situations you find you kick into your unwanted behavior. Do this more than once. Do it every time you slip back into the old behavior.

Step 4 - Secret Signal

Get your partner involved. Between the two of you decide on a secret signal, a signal that she or he will give you when she or he sees you getting into your unwanted behavior.

That's it, real simple yet very effective.

This will be a great help to you and will do another very important thing, by involving your partner it shows her/him how serious you are about changing.

Follow each of these steps carefully and review them from time to time. Don’t expect perfection the first time you’re out there, but keep working at it.

Remember, it probably took you a long time to develop your unwanted behavior; it will take some time to apply and live your New Behavior.

Good luck and God bless.


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Margrit Harris, Your Relationship Expert, provides Helpful Answers to Tough Relationship Questions for life and business. Business clients include Wachovia Securities, Morgan Stanley and a variety of small business executives. While life clients range from college students to seasoned professionals. Author of StrataTips, practical weekly free Relationship Advice, and the life changing Relationship Tests called Awareness Tools.
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The power of making your marriage better comes by way of not only changing unwanted behaviors but rewarding the good behaviors that result. What better way to increase the intimacy and happiness quotient of your marriage than to give your spouse an unexpected gift of Tantalizing Intimacy!

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